Ds (darling son) picked this morning, right before the cub football tournament to have yet another tantrum. Oh, I forgot to mention I'm the Akela at one on the local Cub Packs. Anyway, a 9yr old tantrum is a much more dangerous thing than a toddler one as he has the ability to reason and argue back. He'd picked up somebody elses Cub jumper on Monday and refused to wear it. Ds is a sensitive boy, I also suspect he has some compulsive tendancies. Not in a "switch the light on and off 10 times" kind of way but he does get a set idea of how things are supposed to be and if they don't work out like his plans it unsettles him. Is this normal? I have no idea and dh (darling husband) and I are still working out, trial and error style, how to deal with the problem. When he has a melt down he works himself up into a state about the smallest thing. We try to keep calm, reassure him, reason with him but somehow or other it always makes things worse. Then he gets embarrassed because he's been crying and refuses to leave the house. As I HAD to go to football I gave him 2 choices - wear the jumper you have (we'll find your jumper next Monday) or don't come. This sends him off into another melt down "I'll do what ever you want me to do", "alright I'll go... I'll stay...I'll go", "I can't go now, I'm crying and they'll laugh". It is so hard to keep calm after 45 minutes of this over something so small and then I feel terribly guilty about getting cross with him, however 45 mins is a quicker turnaround than last weekends 2 hour bender and there was minimal shouting involved, so success.I'm not sure what I did right this time that cut down the length of it. Maybe because I was on a deadline to get out of the house I refused to enter into negotiations - 2 choices, that's it. If you're not in the jumper when it's time to go I leave without you. The guilt rose as the words left my mouth, sure I was making it worse, denting his fragile self-esteem possibly setting him up for a lifetime of depression. The I had no choice but to ignore him as I had to get myself ready. He sulked and stomped in his room but he had the jumper on when I made to leave. Maybe being tough is the best love you can give.
Oh, the Cubs played brilliantly and we were knocked out in the semi-finals.
ps - N0 housework done today... again.
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